Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
意外的好看除去最后老乌那里故事不俗套，而且那种上海小资情调拿捏得很好，对于中年人爱情有了点向往。无论是街景还是主角住屋都让人喜欢，白虽然大腹便便但是会绘画、做饭，喜欢三位女士之间对话。
马伊琍吴越倪虹洁的组合太棒了。你只会关注她们的演技。不会去盯着她们的年龄长相胡思乱想。
很明显是制片人主导的影片，不这样码盘的话真的出不来。段子电影，没有属于电影的时刻，画廊里那场戏，算是舞台剧调度。情节点、亮点都零零碎碎，本身故事过于简单，强行对调男女，拼命讨好女性，甚至不比爱情呼叫转移和非诚勿扰有韵味和深度，是拿上海话的幽默做的补充。结尾打破第四堵墙的方式挺尴尬，这还是舞台剧式的，不是电影的方式。好的地方是表演上基本都找得到真实生活的支点，哪怕是年轻演员，做到了取用其特点，相当于画画用对了颜色，养眼就好，技法就不谈了。说周野芒倪虹洁演技好，还是在于角色戏剧张力足，便于施展，从这里也更能看得出用对了人的重要性。整体来说，可能是我对它期待太高，近期最想走进影院看的片，看完又要被劝退一阵。
人物动机 人设矛盾
自带伍迪·艾伦气质，拿腔拿调的中产“海派小品”。老乌这个角色抓住了上海少数“老克勒”的精光气，戏好人物佳，全片最为丰满。必须承认的是，影片拿大量配乐试图去缝合松散的叙事。叙事虽散但不乏舒适，娱乐一看已足够。
老破小里的奢侈高跟，通情又缠绵的野猫，吵吵闹闹又说着悄悄话的前妻，在罗马浪漫邂逅的老友，厌学但懂事的小女孩，化妆能混成达人的儿子还有了不离不弃的外地女友。继承的市中心独栋，深藏仍有伯乐的艺术，闲暇满满以至有空钻研厨艺，连路边的修鞋匠也在和你谈哲学。故事好听吧，编的。其实编的才好听。
这部电影展示的上海，不是大家想象中的十里洋场、东方巴黎、上海滩，而是真实的、当代的、细腻到生活中的上海。再也不用听一帮北方人、香港人、台湾人硬凹着上海话，讲着想象中的故事了。
年度最佳的院线电影，能在年尾的电影院里看到这样的片子真是幸福。藏在平静庸常下的城市味道，算得上是上海情书了。只有上海才会有的浪漫做作与世俗生活的混杂，竟然在里面能找到中男中女的丰满内心。累，麻烦，但仍然有期待，大概就是爱情的力量吧……
有点点上海版小伍迪艾伦的味道，不同的是虽然剧情的推进是通过徐峥饰演的男性角色的，但影片是充满女性视角的，整体自然流畅又舒服。片子里有很多“冒犯”的、“造反”的、内涵社会现象和文艺圈现状的台词，也难怪这片口碑爆的时候有老导演看不惯看不起喷本片导演。我想“女人一辈子不造一次反是不完整的”也是导演本人的态度。
有意思，带着一种「教育男人」的姿态来创作。老白唯一一次露怯，是他的哭泣，发生在老乌的死之后，而老乌又是一个被曾欧洲国宝级别的女人「教育」、「点化」过了的男人。剧情陡然的变化，是从发出妖艳灯光的美术馆那里开始，在那里，老白像一个学生一样，乖乖坐着，说「前两天刚刚被上过课」、「活到老学到老」。然后接下来，两个女人就像完成了任务那样，结束了斗争，不再争夺白老师，突然就握手言和了。「老白的爱情」停住，接上索菲亚·罗兰的那个故事，然后走进结尾的那场早就想好了的放映，大家都看不动——得出结论，「神话」不重要，生活比较重要，然后最后好心地给了这个男人一些可期的甜蜜。是一个很懂「试探」、「过招」、「来回」的创作者，但是不愿意显露真情（顶多就宣泄一些愤怒），不过应该是个好玩的人。
绝大部分电影都是有时态的。比如看港片，《八星报喜》《精装追女仔》《赌神》都是过去时，《智齿》《浊水漂流》《拆弹专家》是现在时。我特意去学习了一下关于这片的讨论，发现无论是正方还是反方，尤其是激烈抨击此片的，都没太理解片里吴越说的三个字“过去式”或者被那看画的路人甲文艺中年重复了一遍的"过时”到底指的是啥。拍片的人是不是心里有数呢，也许是宁愿做梦吧。当年老崔有句著名的歌词“不是我不明白，这世界变化快”，执迷于校准片中生活与人物或者为其辩解的，不是沉浸于还活在过去的错觉里，就是还没分清此时到底是过去还是现在吧。
沪语的亲切感，上海的风情，没有造反过是不完整的，女导演镜头中的女性好自由，就像弄堂里的风
重点在于展示出了一种不被传统羁绊的新的中年模式。
惊艳到了，这款电影没见过啊，整体叙事丝滑饱满，老乌的故事浅入深出，给人的联想留白含蓄有品有力，现实和故事似真似假交织发展，演员力道味道都炉火纯青升仙得道，所以你说他要讲什么道理呢，要我说什么道理也没讲，就讲了个故事，讲了一些平时我们接触不到又偶尔见到的人。这下徐峥的人设也要加分了，又会做饭又有租收的好男人，怎么能让人拒绝呢。
多好。精致又市井，高端又充满烟火气，怀有静谧的激情，也有烈火烹烧下的苦涩，生活哪有那么多千回百转轰轰烈烈，只不过是平平淡淡细水长流，偶尔再吃上一把糖。
原来大陆能拍出这么好笑的饮食男女片啊，简直超出我的想象了。既不沉重也不轻浮，它就是刚刚好，看了会心一笑。
电影的长处是有目共睹的，赞誉之词不再赘述。如果说Shanghai as a spectacle、看角色们的法租界生活如同看西洋景这点上我能得过且过不提问题，那性别角色部分我实在是忍不住要放厥词了。这部电影和《爱很美味》的共同问题在于，里面的男性角色都是假人、工具人、主创捏出来的模范男人偶男榜样、为了传达和反射主创的女性主义思想的背景板。女的在文艺作品里被工具化千百年了，工具化一下男的有何不行？当然行，但女角色跟男假人发生互动时他们的关系也会被感染certain degree of fakeness. 避重就轻虚假悬浮并不是我最想看到的女性主义创作。但问题来了，我们的商业影视剧市场在性别议题这块可以容纳杨笠式的“我喜欢男的我脑子有病”式自嘲吗？邵艺辉一个女导演能把男的如实拍成丑角而不被网暴吗？
老乌的演员演技最好，演儿子那位上海话和演技都是最拉垮。整体不错，结尾有点太规整了。
3.5 像玩似的，感觉各位主创就像片中呈现，很可能一边吃饭一边唠嗑一边就把影片雏形给构思好了，显得特别放松；近期由此片所引发的热议乃至争执挺能说明些问题；正如疫情防疫措施各地对上海的好评一样，并不是有多热爱上海，而是一种期望能被理性对待和尊重的渴求，本片观众，尤其是女性观众未必不知道这并不是完全意义的上海的“真实”“现实”，而是一种冀望能被当成真正的人来理解、能过自己选择的生活而不必被人戳背脊指指点点的心理折射；所谓对费里尼的致敬不过是问费费大佬借了海报、剧照之类的外在梗，内里似乎更像是《欲望都市》式的意思；难得看到气氛好到如此程度的院线片，前前后后的陌生人都笑成一团；强烈建议在徐家汇商圈看本片，结束后可以顺道去天钥桥路白玉兰买蝴蝶酥
这是拍给上海人看的电影吗？嗯，是的。这是上海中年爷叔的生活吗？不是，翻转过来，是献给都市女性的电影。（迷影梗很多，女性主义梗也不少，感觉导演后台很硬的样子）
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